Like I wrote yesterday, I tried out a game from my backlog last week called 101 in 1 Explosive Megamix for the Nintendo DS. Now, I bought this game for like $1.99 at GameStop, so I got it cheap. Thank the lord I got it cheap, because if I would’ve paid $20 for this game… ugh!
Anyway, I bought this game because I do love game compilations, if they are done well. Clubhouse Games for the DS is still one of my favorite games, and I spent hours upon hours playing it. But this game…. nah, it’s not quite in the same league.
First of all, when I tried to start this game, my DS wouldn’t even read it! I tried several times, but it never worked. It even caused my screen to freeze up, which isn’t a very promising sign. I cleaned the contacts of the game cartridge with some alcohol (and was transported back to the NES/ SNES days!) and luckily, that seemed to solve my problem.
Because this was a used game, there was already save data on it. I briefly checked it out, but whoever owned this game didn’t really get that far, so I just deleted it and started my own file.
There are only a handful of games available to you at the start, and the rest you have to unlock with coins you earn by playing games. Oh, the games. That’s the main point of this thing, right? Too bad most of the games I played were cheap, boring, and uninspired!
Take Basketball for example. You’re supposed to flick the ball with your stylus from the bottom screen up to the hoop in the top screen. Good luck with that! The game seemed sluggish and unresponsive, and if you missed, the ball would just bounce around lamely for about 5 seconds before you could shoot again. After a minute, the game was over.
What about Tornado Hockey? That sounds fun! Well, NO, it’s not! It’s a rip off of air hockey that has absolutely NOTHING to do with tornadoes. I don’t get it. Anyway, when the game first started, the puck was bouncing back and forth between my paddle and the CPU’s paddle. I just stared at it for like 10 seconds, but nothing happened. When I moved, the CPU moved, and for one crazy second I thought I was actually just playing against myself. Moving on…
Circus and Soccer both shared a similar premise: your shit can’t touch the ground, or it’s game over. For Circus, it was hoops, and for Soccer, it was- surprise!- a soccer ball. Again, with sluggish touchscreen response, these games were pretty much no fun at all.
Card Castle just flat out pissed me off. The whole point is to draw a triangle to build cards on top of each other. But once I got to this point:
the game flat out REFUSED to recognize any more drawing that I did. I drew perfect triangles, shitty triangles, I scribbled all over the screen… nothing. Talk about frustrating!
They weren’t all bad games, though. I really enjoyed Sushi, where pieces of sushi rolled across the top screen and you had to spear as many of them as you could before time ran out. Darts was also fun and fairly accurate, which was surprising.
The last game available for me to play was Aquarium and wow… this game made no sense at all. Just read these instructions:
So, I’m leading a smiley face around fish, eating bubbles and cheese? What the fuck where these people smoking when they came up with this idea? Hey, I realize a lot of games don’t make sense, so I’ll try anything. It probably would have even been funny if it was executed properly. Too bad the smiley face is hard to control and it pops after about 2 seconds.
Despite my criticisms, this isn’t the WORST game I’ve ever played. There were a couple good games hidden among a bunch of mediocre-to-highly-annoying games, but there are many more to be unlocked. I just don’t know if I will ever get around to unlocking them all, but I’m sure there are bound to be a few more good ones in there. It’s a shame, really, because the graphics aren’t all that bad and the menu interface is kind of cute. Part of me wants to keep playing it, but I have much better games to attend to right now. Oh yeah, and the music makes my ears bleed. If you ever play this game, turn that shit off!