First Impressions: I Am Bread!

While waiting for my husband to get ready to get dinner tonight, I was looking through my phone at the games I had. There are a few I have downloaded and have not played, one of them being a strange game called I Am Bread. I had a few minutes to spare, so I decided to give it a go!

titlescreen

Um…yeah. The tutorial levels began, and I wasn’t really too impressed. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was literally a piece of bread. On a counter. Moving around. Yep.

tutorial1

Apparently I could also climb walls…

tutorial2

And inch my way across “thin platforms.” Thrilling!

tutorial3

After that *exciting* introduction, the level selection screen popped up. I chose Monday, which was the only level available to me.

levelselect

Immediately after I selected Monday, this popped up onscreen:

whatisthis

What the fuck am I looking at? Am I still playing the game?! Did this “Mr. Murton” guy turn into the piece of bread I was poking around? Who the hell knows!

Anyway, the level began after I clicked on the screen one more time. I was a sliced piece of bread on the table, and I had to make it to the toaster. Um, okay. I poked, prodded, and grabbed the bread, but it was REALLY hard to control.

beginningthelevel

I pretty much just flopped my way across the table, knocking over salt and pepper, a bowl of beans, and a plate with a fish skeleton on it. I got stuck in the fish plate for awhile, which was extremely annoying!

floppingaround

And then, I fell off the table… and landing on a fucking skateboard! Hell yeah!

sk8

Somehow I, as the lowly piece of bread, managed to pushed the skateboard over to the counter. I then tried to climb up the counter… and failed miserably. No matter how hard I tried, I just flopped helplessly onto the floor, slowly became inedible, and it was game over for me.

becominginedible

I tried it a few more times, but I found that this game just pissed me off more than anything. The premise is weird, but what really turns me off is the fact that the bread is so hard to control! It’s a lot more frustrating than it should be. Plus, this game doesn’t even intrigue me enough to make me want to TRY to play it better. It’s way too aggravating, so I just deleted it. I will not be a goddamn piece of bread for one more second!