Run Here, Run There!

I’ve been making some progress in Neopets: The Darkest Faerie, and I’ve got to say: this game is slightly getting on my nerves now. All I am doing is running back and forth carrying on errands for a bunch of assholes that seem to think Tor is an annoying little fly. It’s like they think he’ll just go away if they give him enough boring tasks to do! Anyway, here’s a little bit of what I’ve done.

Farther on down Farm Road, some bitch was complaining that there were killer weeds in her back field. All right then, let’s kill them! I knew I was in the right area when the music changed ominously.

I charged the offending…weed…thing, and the first time around, it actually kicked my ass! Why isn’t there a block button?!? I try to run away when something’s attacking me, but the camera goes a little wonky sometimes and I have no idea where I am.

idied
Well, shit…

The second time around, I was more prepared for the way I was going to be attacked, so I kicked the asses of those killer weeds! I also ran into some guy who was blue for some reason, but I couldn’t figure out why. Moving on…

Some old fart was hearing noises in his root cellar and wanted me to check it out. His kid thought it might be a Spyder. Funny, when “spyder” is spelled like that, I think of my car, which is a convertible.

Anywho! I went down into his creepy root cellar, killed the beasts, and found a fog mote while I was at it. Yay for me!

Next, I ran into another old fart who was being attacked by crows- er, Crokabeks. You know the pattern by now… I chopped up those crows into delicious little bits, earned some cool fruit/ vegetable/ something, and moved on with my life.

I entered the outskirts of Meridell, where I found another cute PetPet! I couldn’t feed it for some reason, so I was bummed about that.

cutepetpet
Be my friend!

I want to make a note here that so far, the game seems to insist on very linear progress. You can’t stray very far from your current goal! For instance, I tried to go into the cave shown below, but it wouldn’t let me yet! Whatever.

cantgointhere
What’s in here?!?!

When I got to Meridell Village, two fat squirrel things tagged teamed me and stole my package! Those bastards! Luckily, I got it back. I delivered the package to a crabby old bastard who told me I could become a squire, but first I needed a shield. Okayyy….

I attempted to go to the armory, but the lady there was a total bitch and told me I didn’t have enough money! She told me I could go win a shield. FINE!

whatabitch
What is wrong with people in this game?

After engaging in a quick battle and winning a shield, I headed back to the Recruitment Center. Maybe now I could finally become a squire! However, Sergeant Sassypants told me I needed a knight to sponsor me. Oh hell!

The one knight I was able to talk to was drowning his sorrows at a bar because his sword broke. He wouldn’t help me further until I took it upon myself to find his sword pieces and reforge it! Can’t anyone do ANYTHING themselves around here?!?

whinymastertorak
Oh, COME ON!

After speaking to some guardsmen, I figured out where the sword pieces were, then went to retrieve the sword hilt from a prisoner. I had to pay 100 coins for it WTF!

The smithy was also a douche bag until I told him I had Master Torak’s sword for him to reforge. He then did it for free. What is with the people in this game?

smithy1
Wow, aren’t you sweet.

Happy at last, Master Torak the whiny ass knight signed my sponsorship papers, so I went BACK to the Recruitment Center. And wouldn’t you know… now Officer Asshole wants me to have a Letter of Consent signed by my parents! OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. Can you just tell me everything I need to do so I can get it all done in one shot!

letterofconsent
You have got to be kidding me!

I decided this was a good stopping point for now. Like I said, the game is getting on my nerves a bit. It is fun and entertaining, but the back and forth nature of the quests seems a bit unnecessary. The camera is annoying too. Nevertheless, I will continue on and see what happens next!

Beginning Neopets: The Darkest Faerie!

As I previously stated in another post, once I finish one game, I like to choose another one to play and beat. Neopets: The Darkest Faerie is a game that I have had in my PS2 library for quite some time. In fact, a quick look at my saved game data before I started anew told me that I last played 10/05/2007. Oops! I didn’t get very far in the game anyway, so I didn’t mind starting over.

Now, keep in mind that I do not know a whole lot about the Neopets universe. I know for a long time it was a very popular website and I even visited it a few times. There was a lot of stuff to do, but I couldn’t really get into it because I felt like it was a giant time suck! Some of the games were pretty fun, and there were a lot of cute characters to collect and take care of. I don’t know how active people are on the site nowadays, but if you are interested, you can visit it here.

Anyway! I picked up The Darkest Faerie because it was cheap and I thought if the Neopets website was kinda cool, this game might was worth a couple bucks. Now, 8 1/2 years later, I’m about to find it if it was money well spent! 😉

letsbegin
New game, here I come!

I began gameplay as Tormund (or Tor, for short). Tor is a… wolf? I wasn’t sure, so a quick reference check told me he is a Lupe. Sweet, close enough! Anyway, Tor just wants to be a knight, but at the beginning of the game, I have to do mindless shit for his family members who can’t seem to help themselves!

First, his dumb sister makes me round up some Whinnies that escaped their pen. Just look at the stank eye that little bastard is giving me!

littlebastard
I don’t know what you are, but I don’t like you!

Next, Tor’s mom wants me to fill up a bucket of water. Why? Because she’s lazy, that’s why! Anyway, once I filled the bucket up, the water pump broke. Shit. Now I have to go find Tor’s father to have him fix it.

Dear old dad is in the barn, where he tells me that I need to go on top of the barn to retrieve his pliers. Well, why the fuck are they up there in the first place?!

Finally, Tor’s dad fixes the pump and tells me to meet him in the house because he has something important to tell me. When I get there, he says I need to deliver an important package to Meridell… and that I get to carry a sword! Finally, a weapon!! I grab the sword (ugh, it’s only a wooden sword!) and start chopping everything up!

finallyaweapon
Yessss!

I even tried to kill Tor’s mom, but she didn’t even flinch. Bummer.

killher
Why won’t you die?!?!

After taking a brief detour to make some weird poses and trample through a field of crops, I head off on my merry way towards Meridell.

Along the Farm Road, I ran into some asshole bandits trying to rob a poor frog-beggar-thing. I stabbed them with my sword repeatedly until they retreated. To thank me, the beggar gave me an amulet that allows me to use motes. Motes, when equipped, infuse your sword with all kinds of fun magic!

Farther along down the road, I spotted someone else that I tried to stab. Oops, it was my friend Claire. She just wants to play hide and seek!

claire
Diediediediedie…. oops, we’re friends! Sorry!

I found her, and she gave me a dark magic mote. Yes! Dark magic is more my style!!

While playing hide and seek, I found this cute little PetPet. I fed it, and it followed me around for awhile. I don’t really know what it’s supposed to do yet, but it sure is cute!

feedpetpet
Aww!!

I saw a few more characters on the road that probably need my help, and I want to speak to each of them before I continue to Meridell. I figure they will probably give me more motes if I complete their tasks! For the time being, though, I saved my game and called it a night.

So far so good with this game! I don’t really know what’s going on yet, but I’m enjoying myself anyway. I can’t wait to see what happens next!