End Game Thoughts: Napoleon Dynamite!

Game Title: Napoleon Dynamite
Platform: PlayStation Portable (PSP)
Hours Played: around 1

About The Game

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Napoleon Dynamite is a shitty game that came out for the PSP in 2007. It came out for some other platforms too, but don’t bother looking into it. This is one of the few games that I have ever purchased that I seriously considered smashing into pieces and setting on fire just so I wouldn’t have to look upon its shittiness ever again.

What’s the point of this game? It’s based off the movie, which I thought was funny. This game, however, is not funny. Do not purchase this piece of shit.

What I Liked

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Let’s just skip on down to the next section, shall we? Nothing to say here!

What I Didn’t Like

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Everything about this stupid game! God damn… first of all, it’s glitchy as shit. You’ll get screwed over more often than not because the game will freeze, the images on the screen will flicker, the music will stop… if something can glitch in this game, it will.

The game is basically a collection of mini games, which I don’t have a problem with. What I do have a problem with is the fact that these mini games suck so much ass and are so unenjoyable, I’d rather clean the toilet at a gas station than spend one more second with it.

Closing Thoughts

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This is truly the first game I can say I wasted my money on. It was only a couple bucks but still, I could’ve bought a couple items off the dollar menu at McDonald’s and been happier for it! It’s an awful, glitchy mess, and I beat 5 of the mini games before I got too pissed off and called it quits. Fuck you, Napoleon Dynamite.

End Game Thoughts: Wario’s Woods!

Game Title: Wario’s Woods
Platform: NES Classic
Hours Played: just over an hour

About The Game

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Wario’s Woods is a puzzle game originally released on both the NES and the SNES in 1994. It was also a hidden NES game in the GameCube version of Animal Crossing, which I’m pretty sure I have! 🙂 At some point I need to figure out which NES games I have in that game… anyway, I’m getting off track! It is also available as an eShop purchase. I bought it on the Wii Virtual Console and think I played it for about 30 seconds. Oops! Anyway, Wario’s Woods is one of the games on the NES Classic, which is the version I played for this little mini review thing.

So, apparently the background for this game is Wario is up to some shady shit and makes the poor inhabitants of the woods near the Mushroom Kingdom bend to his will. I guess he’s trying to create an army to take over the Mushroom Kingdom or some shit. I guess Mario is busy or whatever, because Toad is the one who has to stop Wario and restore peace to the forest. Wow! Bet you didn’t think this game had such a deep story!

What I Liked

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Well, it’s a fun little puzzler at first. I enjoyed the animation on the side of the screen where Wario would become more and more agitated as you got closer to winning. I think I liked the music?? *checks YouTube for music* Yeah, it’s not bad, but not my favorite either.

What I Didn’t Like

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Oh THE SHITTY CONTROLS!!! Why?!?! It’s a decent game with the most craptastic control scheme ever for a puzzle game. Sometimes I just pressed random buttons because I didn’t know what the fuck was even happening.

Closing Thoughts

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I was enjoying myself while playing, but by the time I died on Level 23, I was more than ready for my run to be over with. I also completed one of the Time Attack Modes, so I will consider this game beaten. This game is okay, and I wouldn’t mind picking it up from time to time to play a few levels… but for me, there are better puzzle games out there.

I posted two days in a row?! Wow! I’m on a roll here! Don’t get used to it, haha!

End Game Thoughts: PAC-MAN!

Game Title: PAC-MAN
Platform: NES Classic
Hours Played: maybe 15-20 minutes

About The Game

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PAC-MAN was originally released in the arcades in 1980. It has been ported a billion times to many consoles, and I’ve played a few different versions of it! The version I played for this little mini review thing was on the NES Classic, which was released in 2016.

What I Liked

To me, PAC-MAN is one of those games that’s fun to play in short bursts when you have a few minutes to spare. The whole point of the game is to see how long you can last in the maze and possibly beat your high score, so it’s fun without being stressful. Well, the ghosts chasing you constantly can be a bit stressful, but you get what I’m saying. I just like to pick this game up every now and then and spend a few minutes seeing how long I can play before I die!

What I Didn’t Like

The ghosts don’t leave you alone for one damn second! Can’t I just gobble up my little yellow dots and pieces of fruit in peace?!

Closing Thoughts

I called it quits when I got a game over. I beat my high score, which now sits at 9490. That is probably a shitty score, but I’m not very good at this game, so I don’t care! I died really stupidly too- right as I was eating one of the ghosts, it stopped flashing and turned back to a normal ghost, then killed me. Such is life.

End Game Thoughts: Galaga!

Game Title: Galaga
Platform: NES Classic
Hours Played: probably 30 minutes or so

About The Game

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Galaga is a sweet little arcade game originally released in 1981. I’ve played it on a few different platforms, but for this particular End Game Thoughts post, I played it on the NES Classic, which was released in 2016.

Galaga almost reminds me of Space Invaders, because you are shooting all kinds of baddies that want to kick your ass!

What I Liked

This is a really fun game. I like to fire it up every now and then just to see how far I can get. Turns out, not very far! I kind of suck at it, but I like it anyway. It’s a fun way to spend a few minutes here and there! I like the different ways the enemies act- keeps you on your toes!

What I Didn’t Like

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Hmm… can’t really think of anything I don’t like! Aside from the fact that I suck, but that’s not the game’s fault… it’s mine!

Closing Thoughts

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This game is fun and fast-paced, and my slow reflexes don’t do me any favors. It doesn’t make me mad though… I just try to get farther each time I play! On this particular play through, I made it to level 4 and beat my high score. Maybe next time I’ll make it to level 5, haha!

End Game Thoughts: Dr. Mario!

Game Title: Dr. Mario
Platform: NES Classic
Hours Played: pssh… try like 20 minutes

About The Game

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Dr. Mario was originally released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. I played it on the NES Classic, which was released in 2016.

What is Dr. Mario about? Fuck if I know. I hate this game. He throws different colored pills at shitty little viruses to make them go bye bye. It was fun for about 5 seconds.

What I Liked

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Mario is there. Mario is cool.

What I Didn’t Like

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THIS GAME. FUCK. I like puzzle games a lot, I really do. I thought I liked this game. It just really started to get on my last nerve because it just isn’t FUN to me. I made it to Level 7 before I got a game over. I beat my high score, so I consider the game “beaten” even though I know I will NEVER EVER go back and try to clear more levels.

Oh, and the fucking awful music will invade my brain until the end of time.

Closing Thoughts

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No.

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I realize I’m probably in the minority because most people seem to really like this game, but it just didn’t click me for some reason! And I tend to stay away from things that piss me off, and this game pisses me off so… *shrugs*. Don’t take my really awful mini review as the last word though- try this game out for yourself and see if you like it! 🙂

End Game Thoughts: Kirby Star Allies!

Game Title: Kirby Star Allies
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Hours Played: approximately 12

About The Game

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Kirby Star Allies was released in 2018 for the Nintendo Switch. As you all probably know by now, I love Kirby, so of course I couldn’t wait to play this game!

Some weird shit is going down up in space, and Kirby needs some friends to help him set things right! (A+ for that amazing description of the story line!). In addition to inhaling everything in his path and stealing copying his enemy’s abilities, Kirby can also have up to 3 friends with him that can help defeat enemies, solve puzzles, etc.

What I Liked

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There is so much to love about this game! First of all, it’s ADORABLE! I love the character designs and the level designs. The music is pretty good too, though at this point and time I can’t tell you any tunes that are really standing out to me. Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this when I have a headache and I’m super tired… anyway!

I love how besides all the helpers/copy abilities, there are also Dream Friends in this game. You can play alongside King Dedede, Meta Knight, Rick/Kine/Coo, and a bunch of other bad asses from past games. My favorite is… um, Gooey.

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I give the developers credit for putting so much content into this game as well! Aside from the main story mode, there are 2 sub-games to play (Chop Champs and Star Slam Heroes) which provide a fun, if brief distraction from the main game. There’s also The Ultimate Choice, which is basically like a boss rush mode. There’s Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go! mode, which I love! You basically play through an abbreviated version of the Story Mode, but you can play as any of the helpers or Dream Friends instead of Kirby, which gives you a lot of replay value!

The last mode was actually released as FREE (yes, free) DLC, and it’s called Heroes in Another Dimension. This is the only mode I haven’t fully played through, but it’s pretty enjoyable.

Seriously, there is a lot to do in this game. I think my file is sitting at 87% complete right now, and I love the fact that I’ve played through most of the modes several times and still have plenty left to do!

What I Didn’t Like

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The fact that the final boss in the story mode had like 5 different phases and wouldn’t fucking die already! He was cool though, so I can’t complain much. All kidding aside, I don’t really have any complaints about this game.

Closing Thoughts

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This game brought me a lot of happiness during my play through! It was like the best elements of all the past Kirby games were thrown into this one. I also really want to mention that it seems like a lot of love was put into Kirby Star Allies. From the characters to the music to the menu design to the varied levels, it’s apparent that the developers put a lot of care and effort into what they were doing. That’s something I really appreciate!

 

End Game Thoughts: Donkey Kong Country!

Game Title: Donkey Kong Country
Platform: Nintendo 2DS XL (Virtual Console)
Hours Played: approximately 1 1/2

About The Game:

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The original Donkey Kong Country for the SNES has been ported quite a few times over the years… and I’ve pretty much bought most of the ports. My SNES cart still works just fine, thank you very much, but I cannot help it- I feel the need to buy the game every time it’s re-released! The version I played most recently was released on the Virtual Console for Nintendo 2DS/3DS in 2016. I played it on my Nintendo 2DS XL, which my husband bought me specifically so I could download some of my favorite SNES games 🙂

Anyway, Donkey Kong Country is about Donkey Kong getting pissed because some lizard-looking asshole stole his bananas! He traverses through DK Isle with his nephew Diddy to find King K. Rool and get his bananas back.

What I Liked:

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This is a port of one of my favorite games of all time, so of course there are so many things I like about it! First of all, the graphics are pretty sweet, even after almost 25 years.

The levels are just FUN to play! And some of them are not easy, either. I still find myself dying every now and then despite the fact that I have played through them many, many times.

And let’s not forget about the amazing music in this game! There are so many great tunes, it’s hard to pick a favorite.

Lastly, I just really enjoy the characters in this game. The Kongs are great, the Kremlings are dope, and King K. Rool is one of my all-time favorite villains.

What I Didn’t Like:

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The fact that my hands still get sweaty during barrel-blasting segments. So stressful!

Closing Thoughts:

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Donkey Kong Country is always a blast to play, no matter what form it’s in. I’m glad I got the chance to download one of my favorite games on a system I can take with me anywhere!